


FALLING FOR YOU SHOULD BE THE TITLE

by thesmallchameleon



Series: I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO CALL THIS [1]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Bullying, Friends to Lovers, Homophobic Language, If you think of anything else I should tag let me know, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Oh, there's one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-13
Updated: 2016-01-13
Packaged: 2018-05-13 20:21:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,698
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5715826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesmallchameleon/pseuds/thesmallchameleon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prequel to "Easy."</p>
            </blockquote>





	FALLING FOR YOU SHOULD BE THE TITLE

**Author's Note:**

  * For [crazy_phanatic](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=crazy_phanatic).



> This is much longer than "Easy" but it just sort of happened. Over at least a week I think? I've been writing this instead of Pet. Sorry if that is something you are waiting for. It's also a lot darker. I don't know. Shrug.
> 
> Thanks to crazy_phanatic for the suggestion to write this. I honestly didn't think to but got super exited as soon as they mentioned it so. Yeah.
> 
> Oh and about the title. Yeah. I was gonna call it "Hard" at first but then I realized that that would be very ironic in a very terrible way. So I didn't. And I can't think of anything better to call it. So first comment gets naming rights. If you suggest a title I will use it, no questions asked. If you don't suggest anything I'll just pick a random snippet of your comment and that will be the title no matter what. Look at all of the power I am handing you. Stare at it. Absorb it. It is now yours.
> 
> *EDIT*
> 
> The power has been taken. And used. It is no longer available. Thank you to ScarredMuzzle for the suggestion.

Dan swears his school was taken straight out of some lame Disney movie. Well, not exactly. It's not like the girls are all blonde bimbos who gossip and shop all day. And the popular guys aren't all brainless football players. In fact, one could argue that no one at his school is really "popular" at all. So in those aspects, no, his school isn't like a young adult novel at all. 

The bullying situation, however, is. 

There's a small gang of guys who must have actually aspired to be assholes when they grew up, because they do a phenomenal job of it. 

They're lead, (yes, they've appointed a leader) by this guy named Josh. He's a year above Dan, so he's been around during Dan's entire high school experience. Dan can't wait until he's a year 12 and he has two whole semesters without having to deal with him. 

See, Josh has singled Dan out. It's not that surprising, if Dan's being honest. He's a relatively awkward kid who spends more time playing videogames and messing with his hair than actually taking to people. He doesn't really have friends. It's not like people avoid talking to him, or vice versa, but he finds human interaction somewhat exhausting. Josh has tried nearly everything under the sun to get under his skin: insults, threats (though they never amount to much), he's even nicked some of Dan's stuff in the past or shoved him around in the halls. Dan tries not to let it get to him. 

"Hey loser." Josh hisses into his ear during English. "Hey loser, guess what?" 

Dan rolls his eyes, but ultimately ignores him. 

The teacher turns around to write something on the board and there's suddenly a stabbing pain at the base of his neck. He jumps, causing a few people to give him strange looks, but otherwise doesn't make any noise. He's used to dumb stuff like this. 

"Hey loser." Joe whispers again. Dan grits his teeth and stares at the teacher's back. 

"What?" he says, not turning around. 

"I have a surprise for you," he says, grinning by the sound of his voice. "Meet me around the back of the school after the last bell. Or else." 

Dan scoffs. 

"You really think I'm going to fall for that?" he says under his breath, still facing forward. 

The lead of Josh's pencil presses against his skin. 

"I don't think you're going to 'fall' for anything." Dan winces as the sharp point digs in harder. He's lucky Josh is sat behind him and can't see his face. "But I also don't doubt that you'll show up." 

Dan rolls his eyes again. 

"And why's that?" he asks, barely even caring enough to listen for the answer. 

"Because little Danny's been keeping himself a little secret," Josh says lightly. "And Joshy's learned what it is." 

Dan doesn't feel particularly threatened. This isn't the first time Josh has claimed something like that. 

"Did you just call yourself Joshy?" 

"Shut up Howell." Dan can hear the scowl in his voice. 

"Daniel! Joshua! Pay attention." 

Dan nods, reddening slightly. He turns his attention back to the lesson, which is a little harder than he'd hoped as he's still being stabbed in the back of the neck as he takes notes. 

"You don't believe me, do you?" Josh whispers when the teacher is turned around again. 

Dan breathes a little laugh. 

"No, sure I do," he says, "I'm fucking terrified. Can't you tell?" 

The pencil leaves the back of Dan's neck, leaving a numb, probably red, indent that throbs slightly. He resists the urge to rub it. 

"Course I can," Josh says, pausing for a moment. "Queer." 

Dan only freezes for a second. Then he scoffs. 

"What, now you're making up rumors?" he says. "Just how pathetic can you get?" 

Josh doesn't seem phased. 

"It's not just a rumor if I have proof," he says. "And trust me, I do." 

Dan doesn't say anything. He just taps the eraser of his pencil against his notebook. 

"I can tell everyone, you know," he says. "And I will. If you don't show up." 

The bell rings. Josh stands up immediately and slings his bag over his shoulder, knocking Dan slightly as he passes. 

"Later Howell." 

Dan is fucked. 

***  
He's bluffing. He has to be bluffing. After all, Dan can't think of anything he's done that one could use to prove his sexuality. He's been so careful. Especially since he began high school. But if somehow Josh has found some of the doodles in his middle school textbooks or one of his old MySpace accounts... It's unlikely, but his life could get a hell of a lot worse. 

On the other hand, if he shows up and Josh was just screwing with him, that is proof enough that what he's claiming is true. If it wasn't, he wouldn't even bother thinking about coming. 

But if Josh really does have something to hold against him... 

Dan can't focus in any of his classes. 

*** 

Dan winces when the last bell rings. He gathers his things as slowly as he can manage and is the very last out of the classroom. The logical, productive half of his brain is screaming at him to just go home. The chances Josh has dug up anything remotely related to Dan's sexuality are so slim it's almost funny. 

But then there's that other part of his brain. The part that makes him see shapeless figures in the dark and meaningless void in simple action. That tiny little part that keeps whispering _what if?_

Dan finds himself walking in the opposite direction of the entrance. 

Sometimes a whisper is louder than a scream. 

He presses his back to the edge of the wall and peaks around the corner. The kids who smoke behind the dumpsters, the same ones who follow Josh around like he's the second coming of Christ, are missing. They're always there after school. Then where... 

Josh isn't there either. 

Dan realizes his mistake too late and turns, ready to bolt for the side entrance to the school. 

He's not surprised to find himself face to face with Rowan and Nick, two of Josh's followers. He freezes. Rowan's face is blank and cold as usual and Nick is grinning. 

He doesn't know where they were hiding, but he's not planning on sticking around to find out. 

He darts between them, hoping to use the element of surprise to make it past, but they grab his backpack and pull him back before he can, knocking him off of his feet and onto the asphalt. 

A back door to some storage room opens and Dan's heart leaps. Teacher? Security guard? Janitor? 

Josh. 

And Finn. And Levi. 

So that's where they were hiding. 

Dan pushes himself to his feet, ignoring the dull ache in his ass and scuffed palms from where he fell. 

"So you did show up then," Josh says, grinning. 

"So what?" Dan says, narrowing his eyes and trying not to glance around nervously at the boys surrounding him. 

Josh shrugs. 

Dan grits his teeth and decides to test his luck. 

"So where's this 'evidence' you were talking about?" he says. "Are you going to show me or did you just make that up to make your lie more believable?" 

Dan notices Levi and Nick glancing at them both in confusion. 

"Maybe later," Josh says smugly, "after we've had a bit of fun." 

Dan takes a step back and hits the wall. They've never actually beat him up before. Granted, they've never managed to get him in a situation like this. 

He lets his backpack fall to the ground. He figures it's worth losing his shit to improve his chances of getting away. 

He notices a slight gap between Finn and Levi. 

Dan sprints forward, putting all his weight into shoving past them. Unfortunately, this still isn't enough. They push him back and he tumbles to the ground a second time. His elbows scrape on the rough asphalt, his own force backfiring. 

"Any regrets Howell?" Josh says. 

Dan can barely muster a glare as he steps closer. 

When the first kick comes, it's unlike anything he's ever felt. 

Later he won't be able to remember how much it hurt, or who was or wasn't beating him. He won't remember how long it lasted or if he screamed and begged. He won't remember if he blocked his face or his stomach. He won't remember if he tried to crawl away or stayed still. 

He doesn't know why they stop when they do. He just knows that it doesn't stop hurting when they leave. One by one. Or in pairs. He's not quite sure. But not all at once. 

Rowan is the second to last to leave. 

Dan is curled in on himself, lying on his side. His cheek is pressed into the rocky black top. Tears are still running down his face. He doesn't remember when he started crying. 

"Having fun Howell?" 

Dan shudders, trying to push himself up on shaking sore arms. He manages to sit up but not much more than that. He scoots his aching body back until he can lean against the wall. He gives Josh a withering look, hoping that maybe it makes him seem less weak then he feels. 

Josh smiles. He steps forward and crouches down in front of Dan. 

"So, fag, how's it feel to be put in your place?" 

Dan glares at him and he chuckles. 

"Who knew this is all it would take to finally beat you down?" he says. "One gay comment and a little roughing up and you're suddenly a perfect little bitch." 

Dan doesn't trust himself to say anything. 

Josh takes his chin between his thumb and forefinger and tilts Dan's head to the side. He forces himself not to flinch. 

"I told them not to get your face," he says, frowning slightly. "It's more noticeable." 

He presses his thumb against Dan's split lip. 

"Looks like someone missed. Probably Nick. That dumbass can't do anything right." 

He lets go of Dan's chin and smiles slyly before slapping him across the face. His skin burns but he doesn't make a sound. 

"Leave me alone," he chokes out, his teeth gritted. 

"So soon?" Josh says. "But Danny, I haven't even shown you my 'proof' yet." 

Dan's eyes narrow. 

"Yeah, I wasn't making that up. I can prove you're a faggot. Want to see how?" 

Dan doesn't say anything. He doesn't understand what's going on, but he doesn't like it. If he didn't know any better, he would guess that Josh was going to... But no. 

"I said," Josh pressed the heel of his palm into Dan's chest. The bruises on his skin throbbed painfully. "want to see how?" 

Dan knows it won't matter either way he answers. He nods his head. It's barely a motion, but Josh reads it and smiles almost grimly. 

Then Josh's hand runs down from his chest to his stomach and then further down towards... 

No. 

*** 

Dan doesn't cry when he's finally home. He doesn't speak either. He simply drops his backpack by his bedroom door and crawls into bed, drawing the covers over his head. 

When his mum calls him for dinner he pretends to be asleep and luckily she doesn't bother to wake him. 

He doesn't sleep that night. He doesn't think either. He barely feels anything. 

In the morning he listens to his alarm beep for several minutes before turning it off and getting out of bed. He pulls on a long-sleeved shirt. His body is sore and aching, but he manages not to limp. 

He doesn't eat breakfast, and makes it past his mum without letting her see his face. She thinks he's just groggy from sleeping so long. 

All through school, he's silent. He keeps his head down. Doesn't speak. Doesn't know what he would end up saying if he tried. In English, Josh isn't there. It seems he's not at school today. 

By lunch, Dan's somewhat regretting not bringing anything to eat or any money to buy anything. He hasn't eaten or slept in 24 hours and it's really starting to get to him. 

"Hey, is this seat taken?" 

Dan looks up from his phone, which he had been scrolling through mindlessly, to find himself staring at a tall black-haired boy with a wiry figure and bright blue eyes. 

Dan shakes his head and the boy sits down. He's very colorful. From his clothes to his backpack to his shoes, everything about him is in direct contrast to Dan's appearance. 

"I'm Phil," he says, holding his hand out to shake. Dan stares at him for a moment, then nods and looks back down at his phone. 

He's never been very good with people. 

"Um," Phil says, obviously slightly put-off but trying not to let it get to him, "you're Dan, right? I think we had a class or two together last year." 

Dan nods again. 

There is a very awkward silence. 

"Uh, sorry if this is insensitive, but do you speak? I could have sworn you spoke..." 

Dan sighs. 

"Or, do you just not like me? Cause I can go. If it's really bothering you that much." 

Dan gives a halfhearted shrug and opens up an app on his phone, loading up a meaningless game that takes minimal breath power. 

"Ok," Phil says slowly. "I guess I'll just. Leave you to that then..." 

He doesn't get up. 

"Um, you're always welcome to come sit with me and my friends," Phil offers,"if you like." 

Dan ignores him. Another moment passes and Phil sighs, standing up finally. 

"See you tomorrow Dan." 

Dan lifts his head to watch him leave. 

*** 

Dan eats dinner. His mum seems worried about him. When she asks if he's alright, he just nods. She doesn't seem convinced. 

*** 

"Hello Dan!" Dan looks up in surprise to find that Phil is back, just as bright and colorful as the last time. 

"Nice to see you're not busy," he says, smiling as he sits. Dan frowns. His phone died during second period. He forgot to charge it overnight. 

"Are you hungry? Or. You weren't eating yesterday. So you might just be one of those kids who just waits until they get home?" 

Phil gives him an expectant look as if he actually thinks Dan knows how to answer that question. If it was even was question at all. 

Dan's stomach makes an obtrusive noise and Phil smiles. 

"Here," he says, handing half of his sandwich to Dan. 

Dan stares at it for several seconds before finally giving in and slowly taking it. He nods in thanks. 

It's ham. No cheese. 

Phil's grin is wider than any Dan's ever seen. 

*** 

"What are you playing?" Phil asks, glancing over at Dan's screen. 

"Pokémon," Dan answers automatically. His voice cracks from disuse. 

Dan's eyes immediately widen and his hands tremor slightly. This is the first time he's spoken in a week. 

His parents have been worried sick about him, that much is obvious, but they don't understand why their son isn't speaking and can't find out from him why. 

Josh hasn't shown up all week and Dan has to admit it's a bit of a relief. He can't help but hope that maybe something happened and he's gone for good. Maybe he got caught doing something illegal... Maybe he got hit by a car... 

He tries not to get his hopes up. 

"You can speak!?" Phil says, obviously shocked. 

"Oh," Dan says quietly. "Yeah. I guess I can." 

Phil almost seems upset or betrayed by this new development, but after a moment his mouth twitches into a smile. 

"That's so good," he says. "I mean, it would be fine if you couldn't, but since you can it's a whole lot simpler because I can ask you questions that aren't just yes or no and I can actually get to know you without having to learn sign language or something." 

Dan smiles. 

"I even got you to smile! Yay!" 

Dan can't help it. Phil is just so genuinely happy and excited for him. It's even making him feel slightly proud himself. 

"What's your favorite color?" Phil starts, and Dan's not surprised. 

"Black." 

"Really? Black? But that's so boring... Oh well, it's not all that surprising. What kind of music do you listen to?" 

And so it goes. 

*** 

A month passes. Dan is probably both the happiest and the most terrified he's ever been. Hanging out with Phil has shown him a new side of life he never thought possible. He finds himself looking forward to school in the mornings because he knows Phil will be there all ready to talk about animals and music and strange things he sees when he's walking to and from school. Dan finds that the more he opens up to Phil, the happier and more interesting he gets. 

On the other hand, he's never wanted to go to school less. Every day he holds his breath when he walks into English class. He knows if Josh is there, this happy bubble that's been growing around him will be shattered mercilessly. 

But now, going on a month of Josh's absence, he's starting to think that maybe, for once, the odds are in his favor. 

Which is why when he walks into English class one day to find the seat behind his is no longer empty, he freezes. 

Dan's fingers tighten around his backpack strap as his eyes lock on Josh, who is staring off into space abjectly. He doesn't seem to have noticed Dan's arrival. 

Dan considers turning around and leaving. He's never skipped class before (except P.E.) but somehow the consequences don't seem so bad at the moment. 

Someone shoves past him, causing him to stumble forward slightly as they knock into his shoulder. That sort of starts him on his way and he keeps walking, taking his seat just as the bell rings. He makes an effort not to look up at the boy behind him. 

Dan tenses when Josh pokes the back of his head. He shuts his eyes as tight as he can and clenches his fists. 

"Hey Howell." 

Dan presses his lips together. 

"Did you miss me?" 

Josh laughs quietly when Dan says nothing. 

"I bet you did." 

Dan forces himself to breathe evenly and opens his eyes slowly, trying as hard as he can to ignore the voice whispering in his ear. 

"I've had to take care of some business this past month. But now everything's back to the way it was. And here I am. And here you are." 

Josh flicks his finger through Dan's hair. 

"We had so much fun last time," he says, running his finger down Dan's neck, causing him to shudder. "I can't wait to play with you again." 

Dan buries his head in his arms to hide the tears running down his face. 

"I noticed you've picked up a boy-toy. Does he know about your... persuasions?" 

Dan says nothing. 

"He doesn't, does he?" Josh said. "Bet he'd love to know. Keeping secrets from your friends, Dan? Not very nice if you ask me." 

"What do you want?" Dan asks quietly, his voiced muffled. He barely expects Josh to hear, but somehow he does. 

"Mmm. Take a walk with me. After school. We'll see if we can... Arrange something." 

Josh's fingers are in his hair again, playing idly with the short strands. 

Dan wishes he could refuse. 

*** 

"Are you alright?" Phil asks, looking slightly worried. 

"What?" says Dan, snapping out of his daze. "Yeah. Yes, of course." 

Phil frowns. 

"If you say so." 

Dan continues scanning the vicinity. He doesn't think Josh would try anything while he's sitting with Phil. It's not like Phil is particularly intimidating or anything, but strength in numbers and all that. Dan definitely sees Phil as the type to automatically go get a teacher or something. 

Ten minutes pass before either of them speaks again. 

"Dan, you've been acting off all day. Are you sure you're alright?" 

Dan nods, making a point to look Phil in the eye. 

Phil shakes his head. 

"See, you're back to not talking as much. And you haven't been eating really either. Come on, tell me what's wrong. Please." 

Dan swallows thickly as Phil's bright eyes seem to grow three times in size. He bites his lip nervously. 

"It's... It's..." Dan adverts his eyes, looking anywhere else. 

Suddenly, he spots Josh staring at him from across the cafeteria. He's literally just standing there, staring. He smiles slightly when Dan meets his eye. 

"It's nothing," Dan says quickly, shifting his gaze down and forcing himself to take a bite of his mostly untouched salad. 

When he risks a glance at Phil, he's staring in the same direction Dan had been. He looks away as soon as Dan notices. 

"Did you know that a group of owls is called a parliament?" 

Dan barely has to force himself to smile. 

*** 

Dan's throat is tight with fear and frustration when the final bell rings. He makes his way to the front of the school as slowly as he can, wishing there was some way out of this situation but knowing there's nothing he can do. 

Josh spots him first. 

"Hello Howell," Josh says as he approaches. "Fancy meeting you here. Shall we?" 

Dan nods slightly, keeping his head down as he follows Josh away from the crowd, away from any sense of safety. 

They turn on to a quiet street, Dan a step and a half behind Josh. 

He knows this can't end well. He knows Josh could do so many terrifying things to him. He also knows that there's nothing he can do about it. 

Josh leads him off to an alleyway behind a set of shops. When he turns around, he's smiling. 

"Dan, I have to admit," he says. "At first it was all fun. But then... there's something about you I like. Something I can't quite put my finger on. But I know what I want. And I can take it again and again." 

He steps closer and brings his hand up to brush Dan's cheek. Dan shuts his eyes tight and whimpers quietly. Tears prick the corners of his eyes. 

"Don't fucking touch him." 

Dan's breath catches in his throat at the familiar voice. His eyes open wide. 

Phil. No. 

Josh looks up in surprise, but his expression shifts to amusement as his eyes land on the black haired boy. He steps away and Dan turns. Phil looks downright angry. His eyes seem to burn darker and fiercer than Dan has ever seen. It's terrifying. 

"Ah, look what we have here!" Josh says, arms opening wide. "It's the boy toy himself!" 

Phil's gaze turns to Dan. 

"Go," he says, "I'll handle this." 

Dan gives him a bewildered look but steps towards him, away from Josh. Josh grabs his wrist before he can run. 

"You really think I'm scared of you? What is it, Lester?" he says. "Besides, he likes spending time with me. Don't you, Daniel?" 

Josh smirks slightly as he turns to Dan. Something glints in his eye and Dan knows that if he shakes his head, his secret will be out. 

He glances at Phil. The stranger who sat with him for a week without knowing anything about him even though he refused to speak. The guy who slowly got to know him and never judged him once for the things he liked or the way he acted. His friend, who figured out on his own that something was horribly wrong and followed him all the way from school just to make sure he was alright. 

Suddenly, his secret doesn't seem like such a big deal anymore. 

"Fuck no," Dan says, his voice shaking with a budding sob. "Please just get the hell away from me." 

Josh's smirk turns into a snarl and he shoves Dan backwards with both hands. 

Dan trips over his own feet and falls to the ground. 

"I'll teach you to disrespect me," he says "fucking queer." 

"That's right." Josh turns to Phil. "Dan Howell is a faggot. Did you not know that Lester? Has he been keeping secrets from you? Has Danny been--" 

"Shut the hell up." Phil says, his voice menacingly deep. "You have no right to be talking about these sorts of things. Dan's personal information is his business and his business only. Now step away from him and never touch him again." 

Josh seems upset to have lost his leverage, but approaches Phil smugly, regardless. 

"Or what?" he says. 

"Or I will punch you in the face," Phil says, his voice suddenly bright. 

Josh raises his eyebrows, then scoffs, rolling his eyes. 

"Yeah, right," he says, mostly to himself. "You're not worth my time." 

Josh turns his back to Phil and starts back towards Dan, who hasn't gotten up from the ground. He bends over and his fingertips barely brush the front of Dan's shirt. 

Suddenly, he's jerked backwards as a hand grabs his shoulder and yanks him away. Dan winces, shutting his eyes tight as the horrible sound of fist meeting flesh echoes through the otherwise silent alleyway. 

When Dan tentatively opens his eyes, he's surprised to see Josh holding the side of his face while Phil stands with his fists clenched by his sides, a grim expression on his face. 

Dan watches in morbid fascination as Josh throws a punch, missing by at least half a meter. Phil steps idly to the side then brings his knee up, connecting with Josh's stomach. Josh grabs at his stomach and groans, glowering at Phil before taking another swing at him. 

Dan hates watching this. It's terrifying and is throwing Phil in a light he's never seen, nor wanted to see, before. Yet he can't bring himself to pull his eyes away. 

Phil dodges nearly every hit Josh serves blindly and wildly. Two of them land, pulling a gasp from Dan each time. The last punch he throws has him darting forwards, only to hit the ground hard when Phil trips him with his own foot. 

He groans but stays there, barely propped up by his elbows, his forehead resting on the sharp gravel. 

"Are you alright?" Phil says, kneeling next to Dan. 

Dan blinks. 

"Uh. Y-yeah," he stutters. 

Phil hold out his hand and Dan let's him help him to his feet. Josh groans loudly and they both turn to look at him. Dan grabs at Phil's shirt on instinct. 

Josh slowly pushes himself to his knees, then falls back on his ass. 

"Let's get out of here," Phil says darkly. 

Dan nods, grabbing his backpack from where he dropped it in the mayhem. 

Josh huffs quietly. 

"You're both fucking fags," he laughs quietly. 

Phil takes a step towards him but Dan just holds onto his sleeve and he stops. 

"Please, let's just go," he says. 

Phil turns to look at him and his expression instantly softens. He nods. 

Dan feels tears of relief prick his eyes as he steps out of the ally. He doesn't trust himself to talk without bursting into tears. 

Phil leads him two blocks away from the ally before stopping and turning. 

"Do you want to come by my house?" he says. "My parents are working late today so you don't have to worry about anyone... Unless you feel uncomfortable with just me and in that case..." 

Dan shakes his head. 

"No." His voice cracks. "I mean. Yes, please. I..." 

Phil shushes him gently. 

"It's ok," he says. "It's not far from here. Just another block. It's that ok?" 

Dan nods. 

They walk in silence, Dan still holding on to Phil's sleeve. 

Phil leads Dan to a small, but normal looking house. Brown with a deep red and trim. He digs a key out of his pocket, unlocking the door clumsily without making Dan let go of his shirt. 

The inside is dressed in warm colors. Dan shivers and decides that the decor is misleading. The first thing Phil does is turn a dial in the wall to turn on the heater. 

"Come on," he says, "I'll show you my room." 

Dan let's Phil lead him to a white door. When he opens it, Dan feels almost blinded by the bright colors and posters which seem to inhabit every corner. 

Phil sits on the bed and pats the space next to him. Dan sits to, suddenly aware of how their thighs press together despite the ample room they have. Phil doesn't move away, so neither does he. 

"Hey," Phil says, brushing the hair out of Dan's eyes, "you alright?" 

Dan sucks in his breath, ready to nod, but stops and stares into Phil's worried eyes. 

"No," he says quietly, his voice breaking. "No I'm not." 

Any composure he managed to maintain shatters to pieces as he sobs into his hands. After a moment, Phil pulls Dan's hands away from his face and Dan sucks in a sharp breath, trying to slow the tears. But Phil just wraps his arms around his neck and places his own hands on Dan's back, letting him sob into his shoulder. 

Phil rubs soft circles and whispers gentle words into his ear. 

"It's all right Dan. You're ok. I'm ok. I've got you. Everything's going to be all right." 

Dans fingers grab meekly at the back of Phil's shirt 

He doesn't know how long they sit there. At least twenty minutes, probably more. All the while Phil doesn't make any move to pull away. When his tears finally slow, Dan sniffs and leans back. Phil drops his arms but barely moves away. Dan wipes his eyes with the heel of his palm, his nose running unattractively. 

"Do you want me to get you a tissue?" Phil asks. Dan nods slightly and the bed creeks as Phil stands. A twinge of regret causes Dan to frown as he already misses the steady warmth and pressure of Phil's thigh against his. 

Luckily he isn't gone long, disappearing briefly through door Dan had assumed was a closet but now guesses is a bathroom. He returns with a green tissue box and hands it to Dan, sitting a couple inches further away then he had been. 

Dan blows his nose as quietly as he can manage, which isn't very quiet apparently. Phil leans over and grabs a bin from next to his deck and sets it by Dan. 

"Sorry," Dan says quietly when he's done. 

"No, no. It's fine, really. I'm just glad you're not harmed... He didn't harm you, did he?" 

Dan swallows thickly. Then shakes his head. 

"Uh, no," he says. "Not this time at least." 

Phil frowns and nods. 

"Not a one time thing then?" he says. 

Dan shrugs and Phil seems to accept that he doesn't want to say any more about it. 

"Um," Dan says after a moment, "back... There. How did you..." 

"Oh," Phil scratches the back of his head, laughing awkwardly. "It's a combination of things actually. I had to deal with bullies a lot at my old school. My dad signed me up for self defense classes so that I wouldn't keep coming home black and blue. It really didn't do much though. They were basic classes and meatheads don't really play by the rules or martial arts." 

Phil pauses and Dan nods, prompting him to continue. 

"Anyway, I started teaching myself how to fight. It took me a long time but I finally started sending whoever messed with me home looking just as bad, if not worse, than I did. 

"I never really liked it. But it was necessary. And people started picking on me less. I got caught fighting too many times though, and it eventually got me... Well. Expelled." 

Dan raises his eyebrows in surprise. Phil looks sheepish. 

"Yeah. It got pretty bad. When I switched here last year, I made a promise to put it all behind me. But I guess... Oh well. It's not a big deal." 

Dan bites his lip, guilt surging through him. 

"What if you get caught?" Dan says. 

"Then I get caught." Phil shrugs. "I'll just explain the situation." 

"But what if no one believes you?" Dan says. "He probably looks terrible, but you've barely been touched." 

Phil sets his hand on Dan's knee and smiles. 

"Dan, that doesn't matter," he says. "What matters is that you're safe. Everything else is just background noise." 

Dan's heart swells. He takes a deep breath. 

"Thank you," he says in a thin voice. "Seriously, thank you for everything." 

Phil just smiles then stands, stretching slightly. 

"Come on, let's do something fun. I have Mario Kart." 

Dan finds himself grinning. 

*** 

Dan ends up calling his parents to ask if he can spend the night. They are confused, and a bit worried at first, but once he puts it on speaker and asks Phil to introduce himself, they are only excited. He's made a friend. They are very proud. 

They stay up late, sitting on the floor too close to the television, playing video games and talking about nothing. Phil heats some soup up around seven and they eat in his room as well. The front door opens and closes around 11:30 and Phil explains that his dad is home. His mother won't be until much later. 

"Can I ask you something?" Phil says after finally shutting off the TV. 

Dan gives him an odd look but nods. 

"I know this is personal, and none of my business, so you can lie if you want, I won't judge. But was he... was he telling the truth when he said you were gay?" 

Dan's breath catches in his throat. He's about to say no, it won't even be a lie really. But then remembers that this is Phil he's talking to. 

"Half," he says. "It's half true." 

Phil lies back on the floor, his arms stretching above his head. Dan forces himself not to stare, though he's sure Phil wouldn't be able to see in the dark room, lit only by the streetlights which shine through Phil's window. After all, he can't see Phil's expression in the dim lighting. 

"I'm really glad you looked sad that day," Phil says after a moment. "I don't mean I'm happy that you were sad. But I'm glad you looked it." 

Dan gives him an odd look, which he knows he can't see. 

"I've seen you around before," Phil says. "We had a class together last year. You've always stuck out to me in the halls." 

Dan doesn't say anything. He can't imagine anywhere he'd rather be at the moment. 

"You have these big doe eyes, did you know that?" Phil continues. "You always seemed like you were alright on your own though, so I didn't want to bother you. But then, you just looked so sad..." 

Phil sits up slowly, the side of his face pale blue in the cool streetlight. 

"I know it doesn't mean anything that you like guys. Like, but because I'm male it doesn't mean you want to be anything more than friends but... Do you think..." 

"Yeah," Dan breathes. "Yeah. I do." 

They sit in silence for several moments, neither of them moving. Then Phil slowly brings his hand up to brush Dan's face gently with his fingers. 

"Do you think I could..." Phil's voice is barely above a whisper. 

"Yeah," Dan breathes. 

Phil leans foreword slowly, and presses his lips gently against Dan's. His lips are chapped and rough, but Dan thinks it's the softest thing he's ever felt. He doesn't know what to do with his hands, so he just lets them lay in his lap. 

Dan never wants this to end. 

When Phil pulls away, he doesn't separate them by more than an inch or two. 

"Sorry," he says quietly, "I've never... Not with..." 

"It's ok," Dan says, smiling. 

Phil smiles too. 

*** 

_"Here, like this. Curl your fingers, it gives you more control. Yeah ok. Now stand evenly on both feet. Perfect. And make your shoulders diagonal like... Yeah. Ok, now use your whole weight when you swing. Like you're throwing a ball. Ok fine, like you're swinging a Wii remote. That's better. Figures. Hey, hey, ow! Do you want me to show you or not? Ok. Now, you're going to want to hit right there. Like that. Yeah. Here. Practice on this. Nice. Loosen up your shoulder a little more. You're not going to have as much power if you're too tense."_

"Hey Howell!" Dan turns, frowning. He sees Nick jogging toward him. He doesn't look happy. 

"Josh hasn't talked to any of us in weeks," he says when he catches up to him. "Do you know anything about that?" 

Dan shrugs, tucking his thumbs under his backpack straps. 

"Funny," Nick says. "Because last night, he finally responded to my texts and said he switched schools. Said if any of us wanted to know why, we'd just have to ask you." 

Dan furrows his eyebrows. 

"I have no idea," he says calmly, "honestly." 

Nick steps in front of Dan and crosses his arms. 

"I think you're lying," he says. 

Dan gives him an unamused look. 

"Yeah well I think I'm not." 

He attempts to step around him, but Nick blocks his path. 

"What did you do?" Nick says, stepping forward menacingly. 

Dan rolls his eyes. 

"Nothing," he says. "Now if you would please get out of my way that would be great, thank you." 

Nick just steps closer. 

"What the fuck did you do?" he says slowly, backing Dan towards the wall. 

"Jesus Christ, man," Dan says. "I have a boyfriend. I'm flattered, but seriously." 

Nick's eyes widen. 

"I'm not coming on to you you fucking gay-ass!" 

Dan shrugs. 

"I don't know," he says, "seems pretty homo to me..." 

Nick grabs the front of Dan's shirt and slams him against the wall of lockers. 

"Seriously though, get off," Dan says. 

"Why?" Nick snarls. "What are you going to do about it." 

"I'll think of something," Dan says, rolling his eyes. "But come on. Get off." 

"No," Nick says. "Not until you tell me what happened with Josh." 

Dan's patience is wearing thin. 

"Fine. You want to know what happened to Josh? He was a dick. And probably more than a little insane. And no, I don't know why he stopped showing up, but if I were to guess, I'd say he finally got what was coming to him and ran home with his tail between his legs. Just like you inevitably will if you don't back. The fuck. Off." 

Nick grits his teeth and glares. When he raises his fist, aiming for his face, Dan ducks slipping past him and running. 

He knows it wasn't smart to run his mouth, but at this point he's so done with all of their shit that he just let his snark have free reign. 

Dan doesn't get very far before Nick grabs the back of his backpack, pulling him to a screeching halt. 

He lets out a little _oof_ as he falls to the ground. Dan drops his backpack to the ground before scrambling to his feet. Nick darts towards him and his fist connects with his stomach. Dan stumbles backwards but remains on his feet, forcing himself to breathe as he ducks sideways away from another punch. 

Pain bursts in his side as Nick's fist collides with his flesh again. He looses his footing and falls to the ground, but is back on his feet before Nick can attack again. 

Nick's frustration seems to be growing. His blows are becoming more erratic and messy, but most of them manage to land anyway. Dan figures it's the adrenaline keeping him upright. 

When Nick finally pauses, Dan sees an opening. 

He curls his fingers and angles his shoulders. 

*** 

Phil's mouth falls open in shock as he stares at his bruised and bloody boyfriend standing on his front step. 

He's been sick all day and was not expecting Dan to drop by at all, much less in this state. His jaw sets and his breathing begins to quicken. 

Then Dan's face breaks into a grin. 

"I think I broke his nose."


End file.
